of flower arrangements & asymmetrical-balance

there is a stretch of wilderness that we drive past every time

and among the wild patch of ferns and other fauna

i will always spot this cluster of wild branch-y plant with small pink flowers

i don't have a photo of it, will remember to take a photo next time k drives past it again

and i've always this wistful thought: if i did my own arrangement

i must get my hands on these flowers

and also of collected fallen branches that i see in a little patch of woods on the way home

i once thought of doing it for my wedding. 

but there were too many things to handle then so it was left as a thought

i find most of the flower arrangement in sg rather contrived & banal

other than the flambouyant arrangements at the various ps cafes, 

which are alluring by their sheer size and volume

and those in their washrooms that are quite in-your-face 

leaving u no choice but to engage with the flowers

because you have to in order to reach the tap

i've often wondered why there aren't any arrangements of plants & flowers we see by the roads

such as the bougainvillea and the wild flowers i spotted

well perhaps in their original state, being such a common sight in sg,

many tend to overlook the beauty of in them 

but with some pruning and composition, they can be quite handsome:

left: source:: John-Richard Collection Bougainvillea Bouquet USD425, source:: houzz

right:: thorny woody vines of beauty, source:: passport to design  

i recently came aross, via martha stewart living magazine,

this little-flower school

and i like their approach to flower arrangement, 

which speaks to what i've been trying to express:: 

"both designers are on a mission to break flower arrangers away

from the tight, symmetrical dome-shaped bouquets...

flowers should show their natural gestures - 

and maybe even appear a little messy."

left:: sketch from paul klee's pedagogical sketchbook

right:: paul klee's painting:: red bridge

asymmetry - something that i've tended to veer towards

be it to architecture, flower arrangements, 

or the clothes and accessories that i put on

i once also read about asymmetrical-balance* 

which is something Paul Klee was trying to achieve and express in his paintings

i really should manifest all these thoughts into actual works

- something less arduous than architecture

but, what's stopping me? 

- will hold that thought for another post

*Asymmetrical Balance is achieved with dissimilar objects that have equal visual weight or spatial force (equal eye attraction). Symmetry can appear artificial, as our visual experience in life are rarely symmetrically arranged. Asymmetry appears casual and less planned, although obviously this characteristic is misleading. It is actually more intricate and complicated to use asymmetrical than symmetrical balance. Instead of merely repeating the mirror image of elements on other side of the central axis, attempting to balance dissimilar items involves more complex considerations and more subtle factors. 

source: http://des1012.blogspot.com/2008/06/design-elements-principles-summary.html

29th February

flight of stairs where we sat on
and first held hands (hee) on 29.2.04

8 years ago on this day
at melbourne's crown casino
we were sitting on one of the steps of this flight of stairs
gazing at the changing lights on the ceiling
and deliberating if we should make the move
from being friends to a couple
& since we were in a casino
we decided to take a gamble hah...

3 years after that
k took me to another casino
(genting highlands! not enough moolah to take me back to the same staircase)
and proposed to me

flowers from k

8 years on and here we are
celebrating an anniversary that comes w every leap year
and this time w a cute 电灯泡 (lightbulb) by the name of Sean

weekend stay at goodwood park hotel w sean

another chapter

my life now runs in 3-hourly segments
in 3 hours' time: baby needs to be fed
boobs need to be pumped
and within the 3 hours, slot in changing of diapers, bathing baby, carrying baby, preparing meals for myself and before u know it,
it's time to feed and pump
somehow it feels rather limiting
doesn't help that i can't seem to soothe baby when he cries
it's really rather demoralizing
and pumping... don't get me started on pumping
i think it would be so much more enjoyable w/o the pumping
engorged boobs and sore nips are really a pain
wells at least we've got a domestic helper -
i should really stop grousing
really 佩服 frens who are first time moms and managing all by themselves

feeling rather restless
the mind & hands need to work on something
so i decided to update the blog!
inspired by shoutmate's "re-fleshed" blog
and L's brand new blog
and chanced upon an ex-colleague-acquaintance's very beautiful blog
no major changes though - the blogspot interface seems rather, limiting

major lack of posts on the new addition to our family
will post on baby soon! i think he's really cute hah

OM-major-Gosh.

and so it all started with swollen gums

no, rewind that a few weeks back...
waking up one weekend morning
i had the cravings for kaya toast
and sent the husband to get some from old town down the street
and whilst running some errands at bukit timah plaza
we passed by a laksa stall and i asked k
if he would like to share a bowl

these seemingly mundane activities would have been
nothing out of the ordinary
had i hardly ordered laksa for as long as k has known me
nor would i have craved for kaya toast
nonetheless i didn't give a second thought to these actions

until i woke up one morning with swollen gums near my wisdom tooth
that got me really worried because i really didn't want a decayed tooth
when i was office, i googled "swollen gums" and the auto predictive
search showed "pregnancy and swollen gums"...gosh... glup...

during lunchtime i went to plaza sing (was working at mt. sophia then)
bought a pregnancy kit and went to toilet to do the test
had hardly pulled my pants up when i nearly dropped the stick
as i saw the results - OMG!!! positive!!??!
it was such an overwhelming feeling...
it wasn't elation neither was it shock... just overall very overwhelming
was deliberating if i should text k immediately...
but decided to keep it to myself till we met after work

had dinner at suntec crystal jade and after the tables were cleared
i passed k the package wrapped in butter paper
told him to open it discreetly under the table top
when he saw the stick, he stared intently at it for several seconds
then wrapped it back in the butter paper, and said,
"oh... don't have hor..."
i was like ????? and nearly burst out laughing
but i held back and concurred, "yah... don't have."
now his turn to ?????
"so have or don't have???"
"gosh, do you not know how to read symbols?"
"yah, i know - it indicated negative right?"
"how can it be negative???"
he told me that he was staring intently at the "-" sign of the "+"
and didn't see the "l" ...

we decided we should buy another kit to test
just to be sure... and this time we bought another brand
and the results, were positive

and so it all clicked.
the kaya toast craving, the ordering of laksa...
i was already expecting on my birthday so
no wonder my fav. pilsner at paulaner during the
bday celebration tasted weird
and i could only stomach two mugs,
much to the surprise of tea and e1

and here i am today, with a belly as big as a watermelon
almost at the full term of 37 weeks,
typing this blog entry at the sentosa beaufort
enjoying our last getaway as dinks (dual-income-no-kids)
as my sisters would label us
anyday, anytime from now, kiddo will choose to squirm his way
out from my tummy to greeet this world...

and i'll be a mom. OM-major-Gosh.
i really can't believe it.
thank God, thank sweaty heart, for this overwhelming gift.

rainbowed balloons

don't you find hot air balloons just lovely and whimsical
a large rainbowed bauble floating in the sky
i've always imagined myself in one
the clouds would float pass me silently
and my entire face engulfed in its soft cottony texture
i would look down at vast pastures of green
and dots of little houses with smoke piping out from chimneys
and then i would look up -
and feel a little closer to Him

"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time."
Ecclesiastes 3:11

what did we do last year?

so i asked the husband on tueday,
what did we do for our wedding anniversary last year?
he couldn't remember, and neither could i!
i scrolled through all the pics in my iphone -
nothing. no records of what we did last year
so for posterity and so we will not arrive at the same state as this year
told myself i'd better blog down
what we did this year


the husband very nicely booked a room at the Moon hotel
(told me he's "taking me to the moon" when i kept guessing where we were heading to during the drive. yeh. he's 200% lame)
it's in little india, and truly a very quaint (i've overused this word) place
and this nice boutique hotel stood out like a gem
it's just opposite wanderlust,
lotsa nice boutique hotels sprouting in this locale


and that night, we went for a jolin tsai concert!
yeh, for the closet ah-lian in me
i really like to see her dance
(this was his b'day present for me)

a belated post on my 32nd (already???) bday
(lest i forget what happened since i'm already 32)



(in chronological order)
four seasons durian cake . fr the in-laws
handmade-handdelivered flowers + card surprise sitting on my desk . fr erjie
custom plaque + cake . fr my cheeky colleagues
french dinner at vis-a-vis + calla + concert tix . fr the husband
teppanyaki lunch . fr dajie w mum
epic bbq @ tea's . w tea,eva,cheng,e1,tyre,raymond,jiajia
teochew dinner@tai seng . fr dad w family
goodwood durian mousse . fr bozo w aki gang

very shioks bday!

memory loss

had a scare today
e1 told me my blog's inaccessible and
probably hacked into!
darn it, i thought
just the other day i was just thinking to myself
i should pdf-print my blog, just in case
then murphy's law struck, & it really happened lor
thankfully after i posted my predicament on the blogspot forum
the administrator addressed my query almost within the hour
somehow, someone, had entered a post,
in the post there was this url (that my blog kept getting redirected to)
so all i had to do was to delete that post.
come to think of it, i'd better change my password now.

now that all my memories are intact, i did a pdf-print immediately
for those who keep a blog, do do it!
icky feeling to lose your entire blog
years of memory loss is quite painful

aside, the wednesday that just passed
marked the day i embarked on another phase in life and stage in work -
to try to reprioritise and take stock of my life
and not neglect my love ones, friends, and my Sweaty heart
before it's too late

being an Architect

was this the elusive feeling i was searching for
when i penned my thoughts down 2 years ago?
or the numerous moments i had thought of letting go?

when it was at the crunch time nearing TOP
the immensity of stress within me was always so great
i often stood alone at the same corner of the site
looking at this building which has taken shape
and thought to myself -
that i love this building, even though it's not perfect
many a times i stood looking at the 4 columns
this feeling just overwhelmed me
finally, i'm beginning to feel that i'm an Architect.
and that kept me going for the day.

when it had finally obtained TOP
and we had to conduct a rather raw trial stay
i sat right on the bay window
and pressed my face onto the glass facade
to soak it all in
and it felt really amazing
to be sitting in this building
which i had started from the feasibility study of the land tender
to the schematic and then detailed development stages;
the drafting of tender drawings, reports, and tedious project adminstration,
the countless rejections and repeated back-to-the-drawing board schemes
being just a young architect running a 140mil job,
and yet by nature of how the company is run, had to face the client alone;
the mind boggling coordination with all the sub-contractors of all the various trades because of a less-than-competent main contractor;
the thousands of steps i had to take at every weekly 5-hour site walks;
to face front-on the lashings & shouting-at by project managers, kicking of walls, slamming of helmets, hurling of water bottles...

at this point in time when the closure seems reachable
i truly am in a fully battered state
was it worth it - a question i've been running in my mind
i really do not know yet.
but to take it on one more time,
will take a lot out of me to do it wholeheartedly.

unless you are really able to let go and let others run it,
there's really place for only one or two at one time.
it takes so much out of you, there is very little left for anything else.
how sustainable is this? will i make this my life?
in my naivety, i'ld like to dream this could be my calling.
and yet, i'm also much inclined to realise my thought of unclenching my fists,
and just letting go.
is there an in between in this?
perhaps to hold with one hand and keep the other free?

my thoughts on 19.3.2011 at 1:50ish am -
4 years of hard labour.
4 years of tears, sweat, lashings, pain and joy.
and here i am sitting by the bay window,
which has undergone the shop drawings i've checked,
in the building which i have drawn with my left,
and cadded with my right.
he is the labour of my love
and my love ones who have supported me these years.

a sight for sore eyes

lately the right eye has been throbbing incessantly
must be from too much frowning, the air/noise pollution on site
& the constant squinting at the computer screen

the husband said i should close my eyes and imagine:
birds flying freely, and into our balcony
(& not the shit they left all over the balcony =S)
superman(???), waterfall, flowers....

these are such a sight for sore eyes:

from small stump studio choo

beauty world ah ma

no, the secondhand book stall has not set up stall for ages,
but there's this other shop at beauty world
which i must walk past and peep in even if i'm not buying anything

it's an old ah ma's shop at the basement
which sells dmc threads, vintagey buttons, belt buckles
and loads of other haberdashery
and the old ma has super wrinkly hands
i cannot bear not buying anything from her once i step in
she's really very old
and did i mention really wrinkly hands?
i like wrinkly hands and old leathered faces

so they were selling CNY decorations
and i saw on display these packets
containing paper filigree - so delicate and pretty right


so i asked the ah ma with my smattering teochew
how much they cost
she couldn't remember, so she went into her shop,
asked someone, and returned to tell me
that the entire packet costs 70cents
each packet containing about 3-4 pieces of cuttings
i wanted to pick only the black ones
but the ah ma asked me to take all
and since there were only 6 packets there
so i took all lah

wanted to pay her more cos my heart really goes out to old pp,
(and especially this sweet ah ma)
i passed her a $10 note and said never mind about the change
the ah ma said "buay sai! wa korh li bueh gak soin"
(translated: cannot! i give you your change of 80 cents first)
then she went into her shop to get the rest of the change
and so i followed her in

when she was in she spoke to this semi-bald man
he seemed to be clearing out some stuff
then he replied her in a really fierce manner
i couldn't really catch what they said exactly
but i kinda guessed he wanted to throw away some stuff
and she was asking him why throw? and he got frustrated
and told her not to ask so much

i felt really really sad...
aiyohs i could literally feel my heart physically ache
how i wished i could buy everything in her shop
so he won't throw her stuff away
really admirable spirit of her to still continue working
everyday even though she's so old
looking at the amount of stuff she displays outside her shop
i can only imagine much work it takes for her
to display & then keep them every single day...
her spirit and the pride she takes in her work is truly admirable

reminds me of mum...
fingers cramping all the time
but still insists on making all the kueh kuehs, tatting,
playing sudoku so as to keep her mind active...
and everything that she makes or cooks must be nicely done
otherwise it upsets her much...

*heart pain*

i kid not

there are probably more reasons for not having kids than having
not for a fact that this is a fact
but rather, pp who do not wish to have kids
find themselves having to justify themselves more
than pp who wished to have kids.
afterall if one wishes to have kids,
would anyone question?
but if someone wishes not to have kids
it would raise a lot of eyebrows

my reasons for not having a kid now
1. it is painful and a hell of a heartache to see parents age and fall sick.
i don't wanna subject my kids to my old age.

yah. i only have this reason.
you may judge and say that my reason is selfish.
i've never declared myself a saint.

that being said,
i'm not denying that whether or not one can have kids,
is a decision entirely up to God.
you could be doing all things right
and yet can't have a kid
you could be told by docs
chances of having a kid are slim
and yet still have a kid

it sometimes irks me that kids become the easy excuse for parents
but i have to bite my tongue for saying this now because i have no kids

it sometimes bothers me if something will be missing from a marriage sans kids
after working together on "projects" like a wedding, a renovation, buying a car, working asses off for careers; what's next?
a bigger house, a better car, a higher pay?

i sometimes wonder could all these thoughts of mine
be a result of 读太多，想太多。
why do i have to analyse everything and have a reason for everything?
in the past pp just simply got married, have kids - just like that
work hard for a living, and not wonder if a job is satisfying

谁会那么无聊去想东想西？

Oh every time I close my eyes

I wanna be a billionaire so frickin' bad
Buy all of the things I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen

Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shinin' lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire

Back to life

Imagine, something to tell you if it's reality
The mind of Christopher Nolan is really remarkable


I think, at the end, Cobb (Leonardo) is still in a dream
In his mentor - Miles' (michael caine) dream

and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

why do i have so many dreams

husband talk

me: k, when next month r your sis and mum travelling?

k: july

me: ?

me: when in july ??

k: can't remember leh... not sure if it's end July, or early July... or mid July

me: ???!!

My life, is not mine.

me & u - just us two

have u watched SATC2?
i like SATC1 a lot more than i like SATC2
the scene at the souks w the dodgy merchants made me a little nervous
it was a lot easier to watch the first movie

there are many things in SATC1 that i like -
the entire (almost) soundtrack, esp the song "auld lang syne" (watch the clip!) and the accompanying scenes

& what carrie wore when she visited miranda on new year's eve (yar i like the odd ensemble of the sequin thingy on her head, long strangly pearlies, the super furry coat, & pjs)

the book: love letters of great men,

the scenes of the library building when the idea of getting married there first struck her (i wished i had that idea of getting married in a library first! though other than our national library, which has been demolished, there aren't any nice libraries to get married in in sg =S),

the L-o-v-e- keyring (i've got one!),

carrie's blue apartment

...mmm that's about all i can recall for the moment
and the one thing that i like from SATC2?
that vintage rolex (wow, rolex AND vintage)
with the engravings "me & u, just us two"

struck a chord in me when watching the movie...

sometimes i wished pp will just leave me alone when it comes to the matter of having kids

A penny for a pensieve

I wish I had a device like the pensieve dumbledore used to siphon the thoughts from one's mind.
So I can remove all thoughts from my mind now and get some sleep!

what our beetle looks at everyday day

"I would like to thank my enemies..."

Tonight at the 49th singapore institute of architects annual dinner, the gold medallion recipient, Teh Kheng Soon said "I would like to thank my enemies too, it's because of them that I would not be who I don't want to be.

Said in good humour and without malice.

Very enlightening.
Never saw it from that perspective.