i'm a mom!

It is most upsetting that this post was somehow deleted…

Heart pain heart pain… fellow bloggers, 

please remember to back up your blog

So I’m trying very hard to recall what I penned for this post…

I’ve always had this awful feeling that the bb inside me is “not real”

Despite his constant kicking and a growing tummy…

We waited and waited on Christmas (EDD for bb)

And Christmas came and passed without any signs of bb wanting to come out to see this world

Hence we decided to proceed as planned to induce baby on the afternoon of 27.12.12 at the gynae’s clinic.

Early in the morning of 27.12.12 I was elated as I had some discharge!

So we called the gynae who advised us to go to the hospital

After a painful check the nurse said there was no dilation and so it was back to the original plan

At the clinic, the nurse inserted the first pill and we went home to sleep the wait…

In the evening after a simple meal of teochew porridge (nurse exclaimed why didn’t we go for a big feast??) we returned to the clinic for a check *painful*… still no dilation…

The dr then proceeded to insert 2 more pills & advised us to check in to the hospital before midnight

We decided to wait it out at my parents’ place in case the contractions started and the climb up our 4-sty flight would be too much of a challenge.

Both my sis went back to parents’ place too 

and they kept making me laugh so hard!

On the way to Mt. A close to midnight I finally felt something!

Like someone squeezing my stomach really really hard!!!
Finally it’s happening!

In the wee hours of the morning the nurse came to check and to our disappointment, there was no dilation at all… despite the contractions at 5min apart.

By then from sucking so much “laughing gas” for the past 6 hours, my face was quite bloated.

And on my dr’s instruction, the nurse inserted the 4^th pill.

It was most excruciating because the nurse had to ensure that it was inserted quite deeply
so that it would not be expelled

I was writhing and kicking in pain and sucking at the gas with all my might

Made me cry and k heart broken.

The dr came in later and advised that i should take the epidural already
don't ask me why i didn't take it earlier... 

In the afternoon when the dr came to check – we were most elated because finally there was 3cm of dilation!! However in the evening when the nurse checked it was still only 3cm… 

I was so so sad... we kept singing to bb, willing him to come out soon!

And bb did try! When the dr checked, he already had a kaput on his head
he was doing his best to "come out" but my dilation just wasn't there.

when the dr came back at 8pm to check there was some progress to the dilation - 4cm!
however she also advised us to consider the option of cesarean

as we wouldn’t know if the dilation would continue or halt as we had already waited for almost 24 hours 

but I was totally unprepared as the notion of cesarean never ever crossed my mind…

Thank God for k to make the decision to go for cesarean per the dr’s advise
because bb was a whopping 3.8kg!

K said that when dr was pulling bb out it was quite a struggle

Couldn’t imagine if I had persisted to continue the wait for natural birth

And when I heard his first cry in the OT

That was when it all felt real.

Thank God for this miracle, k for this gift and, yes I’m actually a mom!

our first family photo