after 33 years

the very next thing, after solving k's treasure hunt for me with 33 clues no less, was to call ma on my birthday yesterday
after becoming a mama myself, it made me realize that as i celebrate my birthday each year,
i really should be celebrating it for my ma because she's The One person who had to go through the most in order for this day to happen for me

"hello 妈！今天是我的生日！" i chirped in my cheeriest voice
"happy birthday girl..." ma croaked.
"我33岁了!"
"是啊...那妈妈33年前生你的咯..." - see? mamas are telepathic
"是咯！哇那时你已经39了!"
"妈妈祝你幸福和快乐 yah..."

it was so good, receiving ma's blessings
i wish the same for her too, plus extra extra doses of good health

this year, i received no present from k
dang!!!
for years i've emphasized that i hated surprises and really, he should not buy me expensive gifts
especially now - we should behave like responsible parents, since we are, well, parents.
technically, he did get me something but it did not arrive in time
he was really quite frustrated with it - "IT SAYS ON THE WEBSITE - DISPATCH IN 48 HOURS!!!"
"mmm... i usually get my books like in a month's time after ordering..."
"???!!! a month!!! i should have just bought it directly from the bookstore...."

and so to make up for the lack of a birthday present,
he got me this after our brunch at jones:

salt???
wells, i have an unhealthy obsession with salt - but that's my pre-pregnancy / birth days
my appetite was significantly "corrected" when i was pregnant
i lost most of my cravings for all things salty - k says its high time since i have enough salt reserve in me to last a lifetime
but still, i do appreciate a good salt
and these pinkish salt flakes are yummy - the next time u go to jones, sprinkle some onto your palms and lick - they have these in their salt & pepper shakers. so generous of them

he got me the two types because the one w flowers is really pretty
and i wanted the flakes because i wanted to have a go at this -
best chocolate chunk cookies you'll ever have
according to joanna goddard: what makes them special, you might ask. The answer is the moist muscovado sugar and the touch of fleur de sel

and so i learnt that fleur de sel = "Flower of salt" in French. A hand-harvested sea salt collected by workers who scrape only the top layer of salt before it sinks to the bottom of large salt pans...On occasion, the presence of Dunaliella salina (a type of pink microalgaecommonly found in salt marshes) can give it a light pink tint.

some snippets of my birthday ::

my two favourite guys

his present for me - learning to flip by himself

us

papa, mama & sean-sean

& ma - i made a wish for you when i blew out my birthday candle :)

be careful what you wish for

a friend once told me that.
and mom used to always caution me,
some things "you just cannot say!"
and from personal experience i can tell u how true it is
i once told someone "you are not my type"
and this person landed right into the abyss of my heart

how i wished i could be attending this workshop, in NY no less ::

looking at the photos of the workshops organised by
the little-flower-school
they are such hives of activities
snipping here, pruning there, picking your selection
from the array of flower selections
making your own collage of flower arrangement
i really wished myself there to soak it all in

whilst i can't physically be there to attend the workshop
perhaps someone* can fulfill my wishlist and get me the book instead?
this is something i'll wholeheartedly wish for!

*maybe the one dwelling in the abyss?? 
u can use my book depository account, hee  ;)

other t-shirt buddies

hey look at this!

this stuff toy is made by child's own studio
based on the drawing by esme, aged 5
prices start from around usd75 and above
i simply love the oversized and colourful ears

kids' doodlings make such unique patterns to make toys out of
not cheesy-cutesy type, in fact all of them 都很有性格
and from this website i realised there are many out there who make these type of toys
some even with the suggestion for you to send in your kids' clothes to make these toys
not very unlike my idea! ;)

can't wait for S to start doodling!

are we romantics?

clear blue skies . mossy green lawn (no ants!) . God's many blessings  melbourne . 2008

"do you think we are a romantic couple?"
- i once asked kk
without the slightest hesitation, he replied "of course!"
hah...

this is such a nice suggestion to do with your partner -
keeping the sparks flying, by cup of jo

let's try it one day, dear ;)

of happyy things

mona lisa by:: f. botero

i like fat people. ok certain fat people
somehow, they feel friendlier - nicer and fuzzier
and one fat person whom i've always thought looks like the fat-people paintings by botero, is alber elbaz::

left:: alber elbaz, source:: lanvin

right:: collection for lavin, source:: vogue

about him::

In 1997, Elbaz left Beene and, through retailer Dawn Mello, was hired by the firm of Guy Laroche. But, by the time of Elbaz's arrival, the Laroche enterprise had become overly conservative and lackluster... however, he departed within a year, 1998, and began designing ready-to-wear women's clothing for Yves Saint Laurent, because Saint-Laurent himself wished to withdraw from his hands-on design of prêt-à-porter (ready-to-wear). In the position, Elbaz's talent was recognized, and he was groomed to become the head designer of the house when Saint Laurent retired. This was not to happen, because the Gucci Group purchased YSL Rive Gauche, the ready-to-wear label, and, hence, Gucci design director Tom Ford dismissed Elbaz after three collections. 

In October 2001, Elbaz was appointed artistic director of Lanvin in Paris. In 2006, he introduced new packaging for the fashion house, featuring a light forget-me-not blue color, a favorite shade which Lanvin purportedly had seen in a Fra Angelico fresco. Packaging included shopping bags imprinted with Paul Iribe's 1907 illustration of Lanvin and her daughter Marguerite, and shoe boxes designed like antique library files, tied with black ribbons to emphasize the precious nature of the product...

and so, i've succumbed... to the fat man

in the happy form of a bag :: the lanvin happy bag

chose a cheery yellow-lime tan shade

reminding me to do more of what makes me happyy! :)

also, spotted today in one of the design blogs,

concrete + gold jewelry::
the necklace reminds me of mapei grout colour samples!

collection fr:: http://www.hadas-shaham.com

of flower arrangements & asymmetrical-balance

there is a stretch of wilderness that we drive past every time

and among the wild patch of ferns and other fauna

i will always spot this cluster of wild branch-y plant with small pink flowers

i don't have a photo of it, will remember to take a photo next time k drives past it again

and i've always this wistful thought: if i did my own arrangement

i must get my hands on these flowers

and also of collected fallen branches that i see in a little patch of woods on the way home

i once thought of doing it for my wedding. 

but there were too many things to handle then so it was left as a thought

i find most of the flower arrangement in sg rather contrived & banal

other than the flambouyant arrangements at the various ps cafes, 

which are alluring by their sheer size and volume

and those in their washrooms that are quite in-your-face 

leaving u no choice but to engage with the flowers

because you have to in order to reach the tap

i've often wondered why there aren't any arrangements of plants & flowers we see by the roads

such as the bougainvillea and the wild flowers i spotted

well perhaps in their original state, being such a common sight in sg,

many tend to overlook the beauty of in them 

but with some pruning and composition, they can be quite handsome:

left: source:: John-Richard Collection Bougainvillea Bouquet USD425, source:: houzz

right:: thorny woody vines of beauty, source:: passport to design  

i recently came aross, via martha stewart living magazine,

this little-flower school

and i like their approach to flower arrangement, 

which speaks to what i've been trying to express:: 

"both designers are on a mission to break flower arrangers away

from the tight, symmetrical dome-shaped bouquets...

flowers should show their natural gestures - 

and maybe even appear a little messy."

left:: sketch from paul klee's pedagogical sketchbook

right:: paul klee's painting:: red bridge

asymmetry - something that i've tended to veer towards

be it to architecture, flower arrangements, 

or the clothes and accessories that i put on

i once also read about asymmetrical-balance* 

which is something Paul Klee was trying to achieve and express in his paintings

i really should manifest all these thoughts into actual works

- something less arduous than architecture

but, what's stopping me? 

- will hold that thought for another post

*Asymmetrical Balance is achieved with dissimilar objects that have equal visual weight or spatial force (equal eye attraction). Symmetry can appear artificial, as our visual experience in life are rarely symmetrically arranged. Asymmetry appears casual and less planned, although obviously this characteristic is misleading. It is actually more intricate and complicated to use asymmetrical than symmetrical balance. Instead of merely repeating the mirror image of elements on other side of the central axis, attempting to balance dissimilar items involves more complex considerations and more subtle factors. 

source: http://des1012.blogspot.com/2008/06/design-elements-principles-summary.html

29th February

flight of stairs where we sat on
and first held hands (hee) on 29.2.04

8 years ago on this day
at melbourne's crown casino
we were sitting on one of the steps of this flight of stairs
gazing at the changing lights on the ceiling
and deliberating if we should make the move
from being friends to a couple
& since we were in a casino
we decided to take a gamble hah...

3 years after that
k took me to another casino
(genting highlands! not enough moolah to take me back to the same staircase)
and proposed to me

flowers from k

8 years on and here we are
celebrating an anniversary that comes w every leap year
and this time w a cute 电灯泡 (lightbulb) by the name of Sean

weekend stay at goodwood park hotel w sean

there's something about sean

*warning :: indulgent post of newborn by mama ahead

a-picture-a-day of sean's expressions till his 满月 at 4-weeks old 

our son seems to have a comic element about him
of all his expressions, i luff the way he frowns, most
every time he does it i wanna laugh
it's like this tiniest being is thinking & pondering soo hard
about something

these are a few of his frowns ::

why the frown sean? what are u thinking about?

okies lah, he is after all still a baby,
can't be in deep thoughts all the time right? ::

"yaayy!!"

& according to my sisters, 

he is their darling dua-bah-pow (大肉包) sean-sean ::

dua-bah-pow  大肉包    

but most of all, he is truly my sweet heart ;)

sean & mama

a jacket for the packet

if there's one thing that irks me
it would be a scrunched up packet of tissue
u know those tissue packets that have only a few sheets left
and can't hold their shape
and if u place them in your bag they get into a scrunched up mess
and sometimes quite icky to use
for the longest time i've been looking for
these type of jackets for tissue packets
and since i've not been successful in finding a nice one
i hardly carry tissue paper with me

w a bb, its really quite impossible not to
bring along tissue paper when we're out
so i was really in dire need of these jackets
shoutmate recently gave me quite a lot of fabrics from her destash
& i was able to sew some jackets for tissue packets finally!
made 5 in a go!
one for the diaper bag, boobs-pump bag, my handbag -
the ones for the diaper and pump bag can hold two packets
whilst a slimmer version holding one packet was for the handbag
also made two slim versions for two special frens =)

have been heavily dependent on the husband on tissue when we're out
and the ones he fish from his pockets
are usually like giam chye (salted veg)
thinking if i should make him one too...
can't do one in these fabrics for him
perhaps i should invest in some "stately" fabric soon!

minkie blankie

story ::
when one has a kiddo
one starts to observe things that one has never noticed
like: how to balance a pram up and down the escalator -
if u do see someone doing that, it's either:
1. there is no bb in the pram
2. they are inexperienced first time parents (like us!)
because experienced parents will tell u - take the lift!
its dangerous to do a balancing act w the pram & a bb in it

wells, in my whatspp group chat that i have on bbtalk
the most savvy and well-referenced mommy has got to b W
need to know where to buy the best-value bb toiletries? - ask W
where to get a nice personalised bb gift? - ask W
and she's the one who introduced us to the minky blanket
it's made of a material that feels like mink -
extremely smooth and plushie
and you can order one from here - a stroller size blankie (26" x 34") will set you back by $43 dollars
another mommy libee who's been busy as a bee
sewing projects for her new bb ethan and other bb,
with her resourcefulness found a source to buy this minky fabric
through her, i got myself a piece of minky to sew a blanket for Sean!
i made two small blankies with it - one for home, and one for gai-gai (outings)

here he is, snuggled in his pram under the minky
enjoying his milk & looking really comfy
(that's his dad's method of feeding him - hands-free tsk! tsk!)

t-shirt buddies

story ::

in the two weeks that i stopped work prior to the edd of sean
i was packing the wardrobe and collected a handful of t-shirts
which were still in good condition but i no longer wanted to wear
and i thought: it would be sweet if sean had a personalised toy to hug,
made from my clothes
so i decided to try my hands on making one

after i made a big-headed sprite (pic top left) for sean
my other mommy friends and sister-in law wanted one for their kiddo too!
hence i made ::
| rabbit-long-ears wearing a miss-sixty stripey dress for sweet ash
| monkey-long-tail for ethan from a top which his mommy wore and later gave me a long time ago
| pouty-lipped spritekin for animated je who likes to pout her mouth
  & a birdie brooch to wear on her first birthday
| smiley panda for happy liam who's always so smiley and jolly


these t-shirt buddies are made from a combination of my t-shirts (washed of course!) and felt
and the templates from a book of the aranzi aronzo series
then i thought again, i could take requests from other mommies
if they wanted a t-shirt buddy for their bb,
and to make it more meaningful,
they could pass me one of their t-shirts!
but mmm... it would be quite a hassle, no?
ah wells, think i'll stop at these 5 buddies for the moment =)

another chapter

my life now runs in 3-hourly segments
in 3 hours' time: baby needs to be fed
boobs need to be pumped
and within the 3 hours, slot in changing of diapers, bathing baby, carrying baby, preparing meals for myself and before u know it,
it's time to feed and pump
somehow it feels rather limiting
doesn't help that i can't seem to soothe baby when he cries
it's really rather demoralizing
and pumping... don't get me started on pumping
i think it would be so much more enjoyable w/o the pumping
engorged boobs and sore nips are really a pain
wells at least we've got a domestic helper -
i should really stop grousing
really 佩服 frens who are first time moms and managing all by themselves

feeling rather restless
the mind & hands need to work on something
so i decided to update the blog!
inspired by shoutmate's "re-fleshed" blog
and L's brand new blog
and chanced upon an ex-colleague-acquaintance's very beautiful blog
no major changes though - the blogspot interface seems rather, limiting

major lack of posts on the new addition to our family
will post on baby soon! i think he's really cute hah

i'm a mom!

It is most upsetting that this post was somehow deleted…

Heart pain heart pain… fellow bloggers, 

please remember to back up your blog

So I’m trying very hard to recall what I penned for this post…

I’ve always had this awful feeling that the bb inside me is “not real”

Despite his constant kicking and a growing tummy…

We waited and waited on Christmas (EDD for bb)

And Christmas came and passed without any signs of bb wanting to come out to see this world

Hence we decided to proceed as planned to induce baby on the afternoon of 27.12.12 at the gynae’s clinic.

Early in the morning of 27.12.12 I was elated as I had some discharge!

So we called the gynae who advised us to go to the hospital

After a painful check the nurse said there was no dilation and so it was back to the original plan

At the clinic, the nurse inserted the first pill and we went home to sleep the wait…

In the evening after a simple meal of teochew porridge (nurse exclaimed why didn’t we go for a big feast??) we returned to the clinic for a check *painful*… still no dilation…

The dr then proceeded to insert 2 more pills & advised us to check in to the hospital before midnight

We decided to wait it out at my parents’ place in case the contractions started and the climb up our 4-sty flight would be too much of a challenge.

Both my sis went back to parents’ place too 

and they kept making me laugh so hard!

On the way to Mt. A close to midnight I finally felt something!

Like someone squeezing my stomach really really hard!!!
Finally it’s happening!

In the wee hours of the morning the nurse came to check and to our disappointment, there was no dilation at all… despite the contractions at 5min apart.

By then from sucking so much “laughing gas” for the past 6 hours, my face was quite bloated.

And on my dr’s instruction, the nurse inserted the 4^th pill.

It was most excruciating because the nurse had to ensure that it was inserted quite deeply
so that it would not be expelled

I was writhing and kicking in pain and sucking at the gas with all my might

Made me cry and k heart broken.

The dr came in later and advised that i should take the epidural already
don't ask me why i didn't take it earlier... 

In the afternoon when the dr came to check – we were most elated because finally there was 3cm of dilation!! However in the evening when the nurse checked it was still only 3cm… 

I was so so sad... we kept singing to bb, willing him to come out soon!

And bb did try! When the dr checked, he already had a kaput on his head
he was doing his best to "come out" but my dilation just wasn't there.

when the dr came back at 8pm to check there was some progress to the dilation - 4cm!
however she also advised us to consider the option of cesarean

as we wouldn’t know if the dilation would continue or halt as we had already waited for almost 24 hours 

but I was totally unprepared as the notion of cesarean never ever crossed my mind…

Thank God for k to make the decision to go for cesarean per the dr’s advise
because bb was a whopping 3.8kg!

K said that when dr was pulling bb out it was quite a struggle

Couldn’t imagine if I had persisted to continue the wait for natural birth

And when I heard his first cry in the OT

That was when it all felt real.

Thank God for this miracle, k for this gift and, yes I’m actually a mom!

our first family photo

OM-major-Gosh.

and so it all started with swollen gums

no, rewind that a few weeks back...
waking up one weekend morning
i had the cravings for kaya toast
and sent the husband to get some from old town down the street
and whilst running some errands at bukit timah plaza
we passed by a laksa stall and i asked k
if he would like to share a bowl

these seemingly mundane activities would have been
nothing out of the ordinary
had i hardly ordered laksa for as long as k has known me
nor would i have craved for kaya toast
nonetheless i didn't give a second thought to these actions

until i woke up one morning with swollen gums near my wisdom tooth
that got me really worried because i really didn't want a decayed tooth
when i was office, i googled "swollen gums" and the auto predictive
search showed "pregnancy and swollen gums"...gosh... glup...

during lunchtime i went to plaza sing (was working at mt. sophia then)
bought a pregnancy kit and went to toilet to do the test
had hardly pulled my pants up when i nearly dropped the stick
as i saw the results - OMG!!! positive!!??!
it was such an overwhelming feeling...
it wasn't elation neither was it shock... just overall very overwhelming
was deliberating if i should text k immediately...
but decided to keep it to myself till we met after work

had dinner at suntec crystal jade and after the tables were cleared
i passed k the package wrapped in butter paper
told him to open it discreetly under the table top
when he saw the stick, he stared intently at it for several seconds
then wrapped it back in the butter paper, and said,
"oh... don't have hor..."
i was like ????? and nearly burst out laughing
but i held back and concurred, "yah... don't have."
now his turn to ?????
"so have or don't have???"
"gosh, do you not know how to read symbols?"
"yah, i know - it indicated negative right?"
"how can it be negative???"
he told me that he was staring intently at the "-" sign of the "+"
and didn't see the "l" ...

we decided we should buy another kit to test
just to be sure... and this time we bought another brand
and the results, were positive

and so it all clicked.
the kaya toast craving, the ordering of laksa...
i was already expecting on my birthday so
no wonder my fav. pilsner at paulaner during the
bday celebration tasted weird
and i could only stomach two mugs,
much to the surprise of tea and e1

and here i am today, with a belly as big as a watermelon
almost at the full term of 37 weeks,
typing this blog entry at the sentosa beaufort
enjoying our last getaway as dinks (dual-income-no-kids)
as my sisters would label us
anyday, anytime from now, kiddo will choose to squirm his way
out from my tummy to greeet this world...

and i'll be a mom. OM-major-Gosh.
i really can't believe it.
thank God, thank sweaty heart, for this overwhelming gift.

mub mub yt-taf

that was what my fren S and I called fat people when we were young
our secret code word "mub mub yt-taf" for fatties
(how mean kids can be hahah)
try pronouncing it, it's really cute
it's actually a reverse of "fatty bum bum" hahah

and now looks like I'm turning into a mub mub yttaf myself!!!
*sob*
I remember I was really plump and stubby when I was between the age of 15 to my early 20s
think I was around 50kg ++
my mum always said I was a late bloomer, and told my sisters, that I was still in my 发育期 at the age of 20...
hahaha and my sisters would scoff at me, especially my very svelte second sis
not in malice, but at my mum's rather contrived logic to explain my rather mub mub yt-taf bod
strangely enough mum was right!
I started losing weight when I was in Melbourne
and somehow gradually over the years
I lost about 10kg...
it wasn't through any form of diet nor exercise, the appetite just reduced and I naturally ate less
coupled with a high-stress job... and I suspected my bone mass was depreciating cos i was actually shrinking in height...
hereditary I guess...

back to why I'm turning back into a mub mub yt-taf
it's the pregnancy! initially I lost a bit of weight due to bad morning sickness in the first trimester
however into my second trimester, things started looking up and I was regaining my appetite
and at my visit to my gynae yesterday, she said I had put on too much weight over the past month!
yikes!!!

the healthy weight gain per month is 1.5kg, and I had put on 3kg!
must be the McDonalds sausage mcmuffin and ice Milo brekkie
that the husband and I have been indulging almost every morning before work...
so now I got to watch my sugar and carbs intake,
limit to only 1 sweet drink (=fruit juices only) and a glass of milk daily,
and that's it. plain water for the rest of the day
and if I have any sugar cravings, I should only be taking a fruit!
*sob*
and strangely enough during this pregnancy, the foods that I felt like taking
are mostly what the husband likes...sweet kaya toast, Macs hotcakes, cheesecakes...
I used to to have a really salty tooth, but now I cannot really stomach any potato chips, which was like my favourite food at anytime, at all!

charting my weight:
original weight: 44kg
may: 42kg
june: 43kg
jul: 45.7kg
aug: 48.9kg

so the rate of weight gain for the last month was really shocking
if I'm allowed to gain only 12kg, throughout the pregnancy,
these should be my ideal weight in the coming months:
sept: 51.2kg
oct: 52.4kg
nov: 53.6kg
dec: 54.8kg

keeping the weight gain in the healthy range is really important because I'm small built
and if kiddo gets too big, it will be difficult for natural birth
and I have a great phobia of childbirth!!! *faints*

bedsheets for kiddo

bought a pair of plain 100% cotton bedsheets from ikea
for $15, to doodle on them for kiddo
may he have happy dreams
of the ocean, skies, flying, nature...

all things bright and beautiful
all creatures great and small
all things wise and wonderful
the Lord God made them all



(can i say i think they look nicer in real life
than in photos? haaa...
the sheets look so crumply and harsh
and an awful shade in the pics
but i'm really too lazy to iron them
and retake nicer photos... =S)

Between Two Trees

kk saw this sign whilst driving hm fr work
and thought the name was quite unique
i did a search to find out more
and this poem represented this preschool's belief
which i thought was quite good
firstly, using a poem to represent their belief
secondly, it's a really meaningful poem
and coincientally, one of the names i had thought of naming
one of the imaginary businesses that i'ld own
was - A Hundred

The Hundred Languages Of Children
by Loris Malaguzzi

The child
is made of one hundred.
The child has
a hundred languages
a hundred hands
a hundred thoughts
a hundred ways of thinking
of playing, of speaking.
A hundred always a hundred
ways of listening
of marvelling, of loving
a hundred joys
for singing and understanding
a hundred worlds
to discover
a hundred worlds
to invent
a hundred worlds
to dream.

The child has
a hundred languages
(and a hundred hundred hundred more)
but they steal ninety-nine.
The school and the culture
separate the head from the body.
They tell the child:
to think without hands
to do without head
to listen and not to speak
to understand without joy
to love and to marvel
only at Easter and at Christmas.
They tell the child:
to discover the world already there
and of the hundred
they steal ninety-nine.

They tell the child:
that work and play
reality and fantasy
science and imagination
sky and earth
reason and dream
are things
that do not belong together.
And thus they tell the child
that the hundred is not there.
The child says:
No way. The hundred is there.

yummies to whack after delivery

This is a growing list:
1. Proscuitto ham & freshly baked bread w balsamic vinegar fr Jones e grocer

2. Salmon belly, and all types of sashimi fr sakuraya fish market

3. Feyel fois gras pate

4. Rojak from the hawker at the singapore food trail (flyer) - have not tried it yet but when i was there i was already preggars and not allowed to have it =(

rainbowed balloons

don't you find hot air balloons just lovely and whimsical
a large rainbowed bauble floating in the sky
i've always imagined myself in one
the clouds would float pass me silently
and my entire face engulfed in its soft cottony texture
i would look down at vast pastures of green
and dots of little houses with smoke piping out from chimneys
and then i would look up -
and feel a little closer to Him

"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time."
Ecclesiastes 3:11

crispy banana pancakes

mum's recipe for traditional indonesian banana pancakes

ingredients
3 batu bananas
approx. 3 dessert spoons of sugar
approx. a small sauce dish of melted butter
a pinch of salt
some water
approx. 3 tbsp of flour

yeh i know, all the amounts are based on agah-ra-tion
mum just based it on instincts =p

steps
wash hands thoroughly
mash up bananas with fingers/hand
mix all the ingredients with fingers/hand
add water and stir well (can use spoon now)
mix in the flour till you get a thick batter

drop dollops of e batter into oil at low heat
continue frying them in low heat
till the final stages of frying when the pancakes have browned
press hard on the sides on the wok to make them flat

and then u will get delicious golden, crispy banana pancakes!

what did we do last year?

so i asked the husband on tueday,
what did we do for our wedding anniversary last year?
he couldn't remember, and neither could i!
i scrolled through all the pics in my iphone -
nothing. no records of what we did last year
so for posterity and so we will not arrive at the same state as this year
told myself i'd better blog down
what we did this year


the husband very nicely booked a room at the Moon hotel
(told me he's "taking me to the moon" when i kept guessing where we were heading to during the drive. yeh. he's 200% lame)
it's in little india, and truly a very quaint (i've overused this word) place
and this nice boutique hotel stood out like a gem
it's just opposite wanderlust,
lotsa nice boutique hotels sprouting in this locale


and that night, we went for a jolin tsai concert!
yeh, for the closet ah-lian in me
i really like to see her dance
(this was his b'day present for me)

a belated post on my 32nd (already???) bday
(lest i forget what happened since i'm already 32)



(in chronological order)
four seasons durian cake . fr the in-laws
handmade-handdelivered flowers + card surprise sitting on my desk . fr erjie
custom plaque + cake . fr my cheeky colleagues
french dinner at vis-a-vis + calla + concert tix . fr the husband
teppanyaki lunch . fr dajie w mum
epic bbq @ tea's . w tea,eva,cheng,e1,tyre,raymond,jiajia
teochew dinner@tai seng . fr dad w family
goodwood durian mousse . fr bozo w aki gang

very shioks bday!

salty salty cheese straws

Had cravings for salty cheese biscuits
I remember making them w mum when I was a kid
The cheddar cheese we used was the kraft kind
that came in a blue box, wrapped in foil
Asked mum if she could remember but she couldn’t

Anyhoos, with more spare time on my hands now
i decided to make instead of buy them
googled and found on allrecipes.com a recipe for them
the good thing about allrecipes.com is that it allows you to switch between imperial and metric units,
and also adjust the qty you wished to make
the recipe would adjust the amounts accordingly -
it's really a no-brainer

Ingredients
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese (I used mainland vintage cheddar)
• 1/4 cup and 2 tablespoons margarine
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I skipped this)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt (skip this if the cheese u are using is already v salty!)
• 1/4 cup water (I didn’t use up all the water because the cheese I used was rather soft and was worried the dough might become too sticky)

Steps:
• Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (205 degrees C). Grease or line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
• Combine the flour, baking powder, cayenne pepper, salt, grated cheese and butter or margarine in a bowl and mix until well combined. Add water a little bit at a time to make a very stiff dough.
• On a lightly floured surface, roll pieces of the dough into just slightly thicker than pencil shaped sticks. Cut sticks into 4 to 5 inch lengths. Arrange the pieces on the baking sheet.
• Bake at 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) for 5 minutes or until browned.

And they taste really yummy!!!
shared them w my family and they said it was great too
Overall no fuss to make because you don’t need an electric beater
i didn't have a rolling pin, so improvised w a pringles bottle wrapped with foil
if you don't have a rolling pin, a wine bottle will do the job too

The only tough bit was grating this particular cheese because it was rather crumbly. Get a really hard cheese if you wanna have an easier time grating.
But I really love the taste of this vintage cheddar, so it was worth it! =)

bag i want this

but it costs SGD 5125! *faints*
(only one piece left in sg at the taka branch)

and i really do want a green bag!
this one's another burner at £2,035.28 (from net-a-porter)


欣赏就好咯...
unless my income jumps another figure, i will get some for my sis too,
and when it jumps 2, i'll get one for my galfrens too yeeeeh!

memory loss

had a scare today
e1 told me my blog's inaccessible and
probably hacked into!
darn it, i thought
just the other day i was just thinking to myself
i should pdf-print my blog, just in case
then murphy's law struck, & it really happened lor
thankfully after i posted my predicament on the blogspot forum
the administrator addressed my query almost within the hour
somehow, someone, had entered a post,
in the post there was this url (that my blog kept getting redirected to)
so all i had to do was to delete that post.
come to think of it, i'd better change my password now.

now that all my memories are intact, i did a pdf-print immediately
for those who keep a blog, do do it!
icky feeling to lose your entire blog
years of memory loss is quite painful

aside, the wednesday that just passed
marked the day i embarked on another phase in life and stage in work -
to try to reprioritise and take stock of my life
and not neglect my love ones, friends, and my Sweaty heart
before it's too late

being an Architect

was this the elusive feeling i was searching for
when i penned my thoughts down 2 years ago?
or the numerous moments i had thought of letting go?

when it was at the crunch time nearing TOP
the immensity of stress within me was always so great
i often stood alone at the same corner of the site
looking at this building which has taken shape
and thought to myself -
that i love this building, even though it's not perfect
many a times i stood looking at the 4 columns
this feeling just overwhelmed me
finally, i'm beginning to feel that i'm an Architect.
and that kept me going for the day.

when it had finally obtained TOP
and we had to conduct a rather raw trial stay
i sat right on the bay window
and pressed my face onto the glass facade
to soak it all in
and it felt really amazing
to be sitting in this building
which i had started from the feasibility study of the land tender
to the schematic and then detailed development stages;
the drafting of tender drawings, reports, and tedious project adminstration,
the countless rejections and repeated back-to-the-drawing board schemes
being just a young architect running a 140mil job,
and yet by nature of how the company is run, had to face the client alone;
the mind boggling coordination with all the sub-contractors of all the various trades because of a less-than-competent main contractor;
the thousands of steps i had to take at every weekly 5-hour site walks;
to face front-on the lashings & shouting-at by project managers, kicking of walls, slamming of helmets, hurling of water bottles...

at this point in time when the closure seems reachable
i truly am in a fully battered state
was it worth it - a question i've been running in my mind
i really do not know yet.
but to take it on one more time,
will take a lot out of me to do it wholeheartedly.

unless you are really able to let go and let others run it,
there's really place for only one or two at one time.
it takes so much out of you, there is very little left for anything else.
how sustainable is this? will i make this my life?
in my naivety, i'ld like to dream this could be my calling.
and yet, i'm also much inclined to realise my thought of unclenching my fists,
and just letting go.
is there an in between in this?
perhaps to hold with one hand and keep the other free?

my thoughts on 19.3.2011 at 1:50ish am -
4 years of hard labour.
4 years of tears, sweat, lashings, pain and joy.
and here i am sitting by the bay window,
which has undergone the shop drawings i've checked,
in the building which i have drawn with my left,
and cadded with my right.
he is the labour of my love
and my love ones who have supported me these years.

cooking with mum

I've loved plain tang yuan since I was a kid
we call them sorh yee - which is teochew for the action of rolling the dough into round balls
old fashioned, plain glutinous rice balls with no fillings, in a clear sweet soup base
and goes without saying mum's version is my favourite

so i decided to start a series of "cooking w mum" session every saturday to learn how to make these yummy sorh yee amongst mum's other delicacies

made these sorh yee two weeks ago
mum's (secret) recipe makes very Q balls


and i attempted to make my very first orange chiffon cake!


very hard to make ya know!
the technique of mixing the batter has to be very carefully controlled
so that the batter will not be lumpy, or trap too much air
otherwise the cake will have big gaping holes within
or not be soft and fluffy

happy to say that my first attempt was successful!
and passed mum's stringent standards
the colleagues whom i shared the cake w said it was yummy too!

much inspired :)

a sight for sore eyes

lately the right eye has been throbbing incessantly
must be from too much frowning, the air/noise pollution on site
& the constant squinting at the computer screen

the husband said i should close my eyes and imagine:
birds flying freely, and into our balcony
(& not the shit they left all over the balcony =S)
superman(???), waterfall, flowers....

these are such a sight for sore eyes:

from small stump studio choo

beauty world ah ma

no, the secondhand book stall has not set up stall for ages,
but there's this other shop at beauty world
which i must walk past and peep in even if i'm not buying anything

it's an old ah ma's shop at the basement
which sells dmc threads, vintagey buttons, belt buckles
and loads of other haberdashery
and the old ma has super wrinkly hands
i cannot bear not buying anything from her once i step in
she's really very old
and did i mention really wrinkly hands?
i like wrinkly hands and old leathered faces

so they were selling CNY decorations
and i saw on display these packets
containing paper filigree - so delicate and pretty right


so i asked the ah ma with my smattering teochew
how much they cost
she couldn't remember, so she went into her shop,
asked someone, and returned to tell me
that the entire packet costs 70cents
each packet containing about 3-4 pieces of cuttings
i wanted to pick only the black ones
but the ah ma asked me to take all
and since there were only 6 packets there
so i took all lah

wanted to pay her more cos my heart really goes out to old pp,
(and especially this sweet ah ma)
i passed her a $10 note and said never mind about the change
the ah ma said "buay sai! wa korh li bueh gak soin"
(translated: cannot! i give you your change of 80 cents first)
then she went into her shop to get the rest of the change
and so i followed her in

when she was in she spoke to this semi-bald man
he seemed to be clearing out some stuff
then he replied her in a really fierce manner
i couldn't really catch what they said exactly
but i kinda guessed he wanted to throw away some stuff
and she was asking him why throw? and he got frustrated
and told her not to ask so much

i felt really really sad...
aiyohs i could literally feel my heart physically ache
how i wished i could buy everything in her shop
so he won't throw her stuff away
really admirable spirit of her to still continue working
everyday even though she's so old
looking at the amount of stuff she displays outside her shop
i can only imagine much work it takes for her
to display & then keep them every single day...
her spirit and the pride she takes in her work is truly admirable

reminds me of mum...
fingers cramping all the time
but still insists on making all the kueh kuehs, tatting,
playing sudoku so as to keep her mind active...
and everything that she makes or cooks must be nicely done
otherwise it upsets her much...

*heart pain*

treasure trove

today the husband and I got to tend the shop in the morning
as e in laws had a tea ceremony to attend
this was my chance to buy things I've been eyeing
I've lamented about my plight before
how I'm too paiseh to take the things I want
as I'm not allowed to pay for anything

the shop is such a treasure trove


my loot of the day - hand juicer for the occasional lemon juice
for my cocktails
and it is made in Turkey worh!
and and it costs an amazing $2.80!!!


in e end my mil thrusted e money back to me later
after e husband informed her we bought some things
*haizz*

housse

chandelier + cement screed flooring + branchy arrangment
beautiful assortment of chairs + plenty of daylight spilling in

elements of a shoppe

besides collecting inspiration for 'dream-home',
will start another for 'dream-shop'
discovered this beautiful shop located in san fran
seems like the owners enjoy all e elements that I do too
flowers, greens, branchy organically arranged displays
vintage, jewelry, artwork, concocting cocktails, fairy lights...

they say, if u can dream it u can achieve it :)
reach for the stars ***