i kid not

there are probably more reasons for not having kids than having
not for a fact that this is a fact
but rather, pp who do not wish to have kids
find themselves having to justify themselves more
than pp who wished to have kids.
afterall if one wishes to have kids,
would anyone question?
but if someone wishes not to have kids
it would raise a lot of eyebrows

my reasons for not having a kid now
1. it is painful and a hell of a heartache to see parents age and fall sick.
i don't wanna subject my kids to my old age.

yah. i only have this reason.
you may judge and say that my reason is selfish.
i've never declared myself a saint.

that being said,
i'm not denying that whether or not one can have kids,
is a decision entirely up to God.
you could be doing all things right
and yet can't have a kid
you could be told by docs
chances of having a kid are slim
and yet still have a kid

it sometimes irks me that kids become the easy excuse for parents
but i have to bite my tongue for saying this now because i have no kids

it sometimes bothers me if something will be missing from a marriage sans kids
after working together on "projects" like a wedding, a renovation, buying a car, working asses off for careers; what's next?
a bigger house, a better car, a higher pay?

i sometimes wonder could all these thoughts of mine
be a result of 读太多，想太多。
why do i have to analyse everything and have a reason for everything?
in the past pp just simply got married, have kids - just like that
work hard for a living, and not wonder if a job is satisfying

谁会那么无聊去想东想西？